


breathe, keep breathing

by hippopotamus



Series: dark days [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 09:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19104079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippopotamus/pseuds/hippopotamus
Summary: It’s been two weeks, and things are working out, for most.(It’s been two weeks, and Isak still feels the weight of a gun in his hands.)





	breathe, keep breathing

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiiii this is for isiiiiiii but also for anyone who liked the dystopia fic. does not make sense as a standalone i dont think :D  
> title is from exit music for a film by radiohead  
> enjoyooo, tiny cw for self harm related type things

No one stops him from leaving the village. 

The gates are wide open, unguarded, and the fence is days away from being torn down, once everything else is in order. 

It’s been two weeks, and things are working out, for most. 

(It’s been two weeks, and Isak still feels the weight of a gun in his hands.)

The air in the village just feels so - close, suffocating, as if it catches in his throat every time he takes a breath. Sometimes, when Even is next to him, he can breathe normally, but sometimes, even when he’s there, his lungs get stuck.

His whole body is kind of broken, and he needs to get out.

There’s been so many eyes on him, though, this whole time. Concerned eyes, usually, worried about what he might do to himself, Even,and Sana when she’s not busy, and Jonas and Eva and Magnus and Mahdi. But there are wary eyes, too. Worried about what he’ll do to other people. 

Not all the guards have been charged with any crimes. Some of them walk around free, unarmed, but still dangerous. They’re easy to spot because people stay away from them, but the only one Isak recognises is Chris. Surprisingly enough, he only ever followed orders. Never hurt anyone. 

Not like Isak did.

It’s been two weeks. For once, there are no eyes on him. They’re all looking the other way, for one reason or another, Even went to some meeting with Sana and the others, and Isak knows he quietly asked Magnus to keep a fucking eye on him, but Magnus fell asleep. 

Isak doesn’t fall asleep anymore. He puts his head under the pillow and wills the flashbacks to stay away from him. They never do.

He takes the chance to get the fuck out of the village, while there are no eyes to stop him. He takes his notebook and a pencil, and a knife that no one knows he still has, and he walks away, into the forest where the air leaves no traces on his broken lungs.

He knows where he’s going. His head might be foggy with distractions, but he doesn’t have to think much about following the river down to where he needs to be.

The water has turned to blood four times before he gets to their tree. It doesn’t even faze him anymore. 

He climbs the tree, and sits, and wishes that Even were here with him - and it’s only now that he realises, had he asked, Even would have come. Even - loves him, somehow. Even holds him when he can’t sleep, calms him when his body betrays him by crying, kisses him when he can’t understand why anyone would stay.

It’s been two weeks since they first kissed. Maybe, if this was a normal world, that would be too fast, but the two weeks have shifted everything between him and Even and the world around them too. It’s not really fast - or, the whole world is, anyway.

It’s a strange fucking world, but he loves Even. Even, somehow, loves him.

He takes out his notebook, and hovers his pencil a centimetre above the page. 

There’s no need for traps anymore. They have farms. They have real fucking food, and no barriers to getting it. 

But Isak doesn’t know how else to stop himself falling apart, other than making traps, keeping his mind busy. 

He scribbles over an entire page, and listens to the sound of the river. He carves shapes into the tree bark with his knife, and cuts his finger because his hands shake too much, but does nothing to stop the blood. 

Time drags on. The sun gets lower in the sky, tending towards dark, and Isak should go back. He knows he should.

He doesn’t.

He will. When the sun starts to set properly, he will. For now, though, it’s still there, low on the horizon, but full, casting long shadows behind him.

He’s tired. His eyes start to close, and he leans back against the tree. In his dreams, he hears Even - no - no, he doesn’t want that dream again, he doesn’t, he won’t hurt Even, he won’t, he won’t he won’t he can’t he -

“Isak!”

He opens his eyes. It’s not a dream - Even’s here, really here, unhurt, climbing up the tree beside him and reaching out for Isak.

“God - thank god, you’re here - I thought - I didn’t know what to think, Isak, fuck,” he’s crying. Isak hadn’t considered that the eyes would come back to try and find him after he left. “Are you okay?” Even asks, his hand lifting to cup Isak’s face, pressing their foreheads together.

Isak closes his eyes again and breathes out gently. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Missed you.”

Even laughs, a relieved, quiet laugh. “I missed you too,” he says. “Can I sit?”

It’s only then that Isak notices the awkward position he’s in, clinging onto the tree with one hand, his feet on the branch below Isak’s. Isak coughs and moves, shuffling along the branch so that Even can sit beside him in that familiar way.

Even takes his hand, his expression becoming one of worry when he sees the blood, now dried, that Isak never bothered to clean. “What happened?” he asks. “Isak, did you-”

“It was an accident,” Isak says quickly, and tears sting in his eyes for some embarrassing reason that he can’t explain. “I swear, it looks worse than it is.”

Even drops his hand and cups his face again with both hands, tilting his head up to look at him, though Isak can’t meet his eyes. 

“Hey,” Even says gently. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” He moves forward, and gently presses his lips to Isak’s. “I’m here.”

Isak’s breathing gets heavier. “I can’t -” he tries. “I’m fucking - broken,” he says, and he sees Even shake his head but continues, explaining himself before Even tells him something that doesn’t fix anything. “I can’t breathe in the village.”

“I know,” Even says, relaxing into understanding, moving so that he’s pulling Isak in for a hug now, holding on tight. “I know,” he repeats. “It’s okay. Just tell me what you need. If you want to go and live back out in the camp, we can.”

“I - I don’t know,” Isak says. “I just - everyone’s always fucking watching. And I - I need something to do.”

Even nods, silent for a while, thinking. 

“They need people to help in the city,” he says. “Rebuilding, and clearing up and stuff. Maybe you could do that?”

No one’s actually offered him the chance to do anything yet. Everyone’s assumed he’s too busy fixing himself, but really he’s just been getting more broken.

“I could do that,” he agrees. “Yeah - yeah. I could.”

He almost smiles, and Even really does. “Yeah?”

Isak nods, and Even holds tighter.

“Awesome,” he says. “And - now? It’s getting dark. Where should we go?”

“We can go back,” Isak says eventually. “The bed’s nice.”

“Thank god,” Even smiles. “I’ve been getting used to not sleeping on the ground.”

They walk back in silence, their hands swinging linked between them. Isak squeezes tighter as they come in sight of the village, and Even pulls them both to a stop.

“What can I do?” he asks. “To help you breathe?”

Isak turns towards him, takes a step forward and almost falls into him, inhaling and exhaling with Even’s scent helping to clear the air. 

“Just stay with me,” he says, his words muffled by Even’s shoulder. “Be here.”

“I will. I am,” Even murmurs, hearing him anyway. “I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading!!!! kudos and comments are appreciatedddddddddd  
> tumblr is [here!](http://evenshands.tumblr.com)  
> love always xxx


End file.
